Spoke to L the other day she's in a foul mood as the doctor won't release her because he still wants to do more test. She'd rather be at home, he'd rather figure out why she can't lay flat without complications. Did a Bronchoscopy and wants to do a mri / cat scan but because she can't lay flat they are trying to figure out alternative ways to see. So they are waiting and not releasing her. I get this. When I speak with her, I don't know if she actually does - or cares? All she wants is to get back home. All they want is to try to treat her. He's been a good doctor, a very good cheerleader for her as well as the staff.
He asked her if she was still with her partner, you know... the one I hate looser that he is. He wondered because during her out patient treatments the first six months of this year, not once did he see him come to the treatment centers with her so he figured that she was driving herself which she was. He also found out that she had been eating junk food while out and did not wear mask / wash her hands and subjected herself to the flu virus which I believe she got (from kissing her kids when they were infected). He was not happy. He told her "This is serious." and that she needed to start acting like it.
And that's the thing. It IS serious and throughout the whole event, she's done very counteractive things and said things I simply don't agree with / never had. And I know I've mentioned this before but it's something that has always bothered me - I feel because she tried to ignore it and use her homeopathic treatments for obvious signs that something may be wrong (hair falling out, night sweats, huge lumps in neck - thyroid?, not being able to sleep laying down and the cough that would not quit) because colloidal silver fixes everything... when she finally went to the doctor with pneumonia I think by that time... 2 years later... it was too late. Now there's the tumor near her heart intertwined with the major arteries that IS cancerous and interferes with her lung and even though they removed 90% of it recently through the open heart surgery... it's too late. And it pisses me off. She waited too long and its too late. And it may be selfish of me but I feel my anger is justified because even though she makes my head spin, she still is and has been a friend for over 25 years. My best friend I guess.
In talking with her the other day, she told me of the stress in dealing with - surprise her partner. How he's continued to do things against the grain of someone that is... normal (no surprise there). And she doesn't think if she does go home, that he will be able to help her in the ways she needs to be helped so she's taken his mother's offer to come and stay with her to help. Why her mother hasn't done the same is beyond me but not my family so.... Good on her partner's mom. As much as I dislike him, I have always loved her to death. I also suggested that my friend be open to having a nurse come and check in every few days. This person could help bath her if need be and get her clothes on. She wasn't too keen on it but I believe taking the burden off of loved ones is a good thing. Her partner's mom can help but there are certain things that a nurse can do to help more as they've been trained to and the stress doesn't build up. I think this is why her doctor asked if she was still with her partner and apparently also suggested a home aid as he's uncertain about the ability of her partner helping out.
Another issue is that she has kids. The kids are with grandmom #1
right now - her mom and her partner. One is 3-4 and the other 15. The 15 year old's father is here. We haven't really spoken deeply about it but it's been on my mind constantly. If something happens... when it does... the father will take over the duties of raising the 15 year old and I believe the grandmother's the baby as her father probably won't be up for the duty as a full time dad, can't even get a job because of a huge prior and not bringing in income, they survive on the income she receives from her ex. It's going to devastate the 15 year old and I'll have to step in as she considers me a second mother. It's pretty damn heart breaking and though I want to think positive thoughts the fact that she's gone back in and it seems worse this time has gotten me very worried that we'll loose her sooner rather than later.
I thought she had it beat but it's spreading fast. So I write.